When the Hogwarts Faculty Gets High
by Jaded Betty
Summary: Yes, lame, lame title, I know, but that's basically what happens. The teachers take a holliday, get high, and end up switching places with some students. R for language and sexuality to take place in later chapters.


Student/Teacher Switch Day... hmm... The idea sprung from a rather slow second to the last day of school where we mostly watched movies and ate food all day.   
  
Umm, I hope you enjoy the story.   
  
The weather outside was beautiful. Sun was shining, the sky was blue, and there was not a cloud in sight. The students were becoming restless as the end of the year approached, but they weren't the only ones. The teachers, too, had become so tired of their daily routine that they felt they would burst if they didn't do something that deviated from their schedule even in the slightest. It was a month until the end of school and the Hogwarts faculty decided that they would all take a weekend off and spend it doing whatever they liked. The students would be left with a few patrols to make sure they stayed in line.  
  
So it was settled: without so much as a goodbye, or even a notice, the faculty bagged the hell out of there and the students were left to their own devices. Thus begins our adventure...  
  
~*~*~  
  
Everyone slept in on Saturday morning. Harry went down to the Great Hall with Ron and Hermione around noon to discover that it was completely devoid of administration and faculty. "That's odd," said Ron. "Ordinarily there's a teacher or two down here on the weekends."  
  
"You're right, Ron," said Hermione anxiously. "Something must be up. We had better figure out what's wrong."  
  
"Or," said Harry, "We can take advantage of lack of teachers and do whatever the hell we please!" A quick look around the Great Hall will tell you that much of the student body thought more like Harry than like Hermione. Students were scattered everywhere, making out and participaating in various non-permissable activities.  
  
"You're right!" yelled Hermione at the top of her lungs. She turned around, ran out of the hall, and was never seen again.  
  
"What do you reckon?" asked Ron. Harry didn't respond, but Ron did notice he was looking at him funny. "Harry? Harry, what's going on?"  
  
"You are!" Harry lunged at Ron and took him under the Gryffindor table. Ron's pleas for help went unnoticed by a drunken Ginny who staggered past with a group of rowdy sixth-years.  
  
Meanwhile, on a private island in the Pacific, Professors Dumbledore, McGonagall, Snape, Flitwick, and Trelawney sat smoking doobies and commenting at how the moon kept changing shape.  
  
Dumbledore was too caught up in looking at the moon to notice that the tip of his beard caught fire. It wasn't until a few minutes later when a good two inches of it had been burnt to a crisp that Professor McGonagall said idly, "I smell something burning."  
  
This triggered lots of laughter from Snape and Flitwick who stood up and began singing "Disco Inferno" at the top of their lungs. "Burn, baby, burn!" they sang. Dumbledore stood up to sing with them, and as he did, part of his robe caught fire too.  
  
Trelawney took a drag from the communal joint and said, "I see a firey future for us all! We must all run if we want to live!" This scared Professor McGonagall who turned with a look of fear upon her face and cried, "Do you think we'll be alright, Sybil?"  
  
"NO!" yelled Trelawney. "Cause the fire's just there!" She pointed to Dumbledore who was now covered in flames and began laughing hysterically.  
  
"Look," Snape said, pointing to Dumbledore. "He's on fire!"  
  
Dumbledore looked to be having the time of his life. "My robe's on fire!" he laughed. "And it's hotter than hell in here, has anyone got a fan?"  
  
Flitwick conjured a fan out of the air which began blowing on Dumbledore. The flames climbed higher up Dumbledore's beard and robe and he began to panic. "I'M FUCKING ON FIRE, PEOPLE! CAN'T YOU SEE THAT?! PUT OUT THE FIRE BEFORE I FUCKING BURN TO DEATH!"  
  
Trelawney took another drag from the joint and said, "We all must run!" before passing out in a heap.  
  
"I know what to do," said Snape. He stood up and removed a piece of paper from his pocket that had a list of students' names on it. He murmered an incantation and threw the paper in the fire that was Dumbledore, who immediately blew up.   
  
There was a moment of silence, and suddenly, something happened... 


End file.
